Subway Announcement Translations
While stuck in “train traffic” yesterday I decided to write out what the subway announcements REALLY mean.
“please be patient” - “don’t murder the mariachi band, because more blood cleanup means another fare hike.”
“if you see something, say something” - “go about your business, you know you won’t do anything anyway.”
“due to train traffic” - “because we fucked up and are blaming an imaginary thing called ‘train traffic.’”
“due to an earlier incident” - “because a homeless guy took a dump in one of the cars”
“due to someone needing medical attention” - “because some drunk bitch threw up”
“due to scheduled track work” - “haha you’re fucked.”
Notes
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